You aren’t good enough. And at the rate you’re going, you’re never going to be. Not at the rate you’re going…
Nothing you do will measure up. And it’s all your fault. Like the rest of us, you had so much potential, but, again like the rest of us, you’ve lost it along the way. But it’s not too late to be good enough…You just have to realize that you are the problem.
We spend a ridiculous amount of time on social media – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest – you name it. We’re fed a constant stream of images, quotes, and cute little videos showcasing everybody’s day-to-day happenings. All the babies are beautiful and happy, and all the dinners could very well have come straight from a five-star restaurant to that girl from high school’s dinner table. Save for the odd drama queen who can’t keep the nitty-gritty off the internet, none of your Facebook “friends” ever has a bad hair day, messy house, or fallen soufflé. But c’mon now – let’s get real…
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Even though we’re not seeing it all over our news feeds, plenty of people are sporting an almost-mullet between haircuts or an inch of dark roots or incredibly dark circles under their eyes.
That soufflé is right on the heels of a batch of burned cupcakes and way-past-al-dente pasta. And you know what? Even though it was really pretty, it might not have even tasted very good…
That baby? It cries. A lot. Sometimes mommy wishes she could run away – maybe just for a couple hours – to a nice, “boring life” like yours.
That girl’s beautiful wedding photos have the family feud artfully cropped out of the background, and the new house your college roommate just bought is absolutely gorgeous but has all sorts of problems that need fixing.
You’re the Problem
But because you never see those moments, the downs that balance all the ups, your everyday life feels too mundane and not nearly good or pretty or successful enough. You see something on your Facebook feed that should make you feel happy for someone, but instead you feel jealous or bitter or maybe a little bit of both. Then you feel like a bad person for not being happy for them.
The more you scroll through the pictures, videos, and tidbits, the worse you feel about your own life. You can’t help but compare yourself to all those other people, and that comparison is slowly chipping away at your own sense of self-worth. Even though last week you were happy being single or weren’t in any hurry to have kids, today you feel like your biological clock is spinning out of control and that you’ll never have that beautiful, perfect family of your dreams. You hate cooking, but now you feel compelled to become the master of every gourmet cookbook in the vicinity. You’re reminded very quickly why you hate cooking and then just feel like an all-around failure when you give up the whole endeavor. Maybe you’re not the artsy type, and you’re okay with that – until you spend six hours on Pinterest and realize you’re the worst mom of all the first-grade moms ever. Because obviously all the other moms can flawlessly execute every single one of those projects.
Not to make you feel even worse about yourself, but you’re dead wrong. You need to be your own biggest cheerleader and advocate, but instead you’re sitting in the stands yelling insults at yourself. You have to stop setting your own bar at the height of somebody else’s standards because, like I said, they’re all faking it anyway! You’re so much more than good enough, but you’re never going to realize it if you keep comparing yourself to everybody else’s perfectly-curated lives. You don’t need to be good at everything on the planet. You just need to be happy with who you are, what you love to do, and the way you’re accepted by the people you love.
This is Real Life
Do you find yourself falling into the comparison trap? What’s the area that always catches you? Career success? Parenting? Relationship envy? Creativity? Share your biggest insecurities or what you’re hardest on yourself about in the comments as well as why you know you’re good enough in spite of it. The first step is admitting you have a problem, right? ;D
I am so grateful that I came across this blog post during my divorce. It was a great reminder to stop comparing your experience to others and focus on your own growth. If anyone reading this is going through a divorce and needs affordable legal help in Arizona, I highly recommend taking a look at cheapdivorcearizona.com. They made the process so much easier for me and I’m so glad I found them.
Thanks for sharing
“Comparison kills creativity” — Brené Brown on NPR’s ‘On Being’ with Krista Tippett
Made me think of this post.
Great post. I think I have gotten better at ignoring social media but there are days it all comes crashing in again and I think I need to make my life better. I have a harder time with other bloggers right now. I keep wishing I had as many posts and a more developed blog. Thanks for the post and reminder that my life is good. Love the blog.
Wow, I read this and totally saw myself. I am always trying to be better comparing myself with others, I wish I played tennis like my friend X, I wish I had my friend’s body, I wish I had… I wish I was, I wish I hadn’t… and there are son so many good things that I have, but I just don’t stop and look at them. I know I should love me, but I don’t. I doubt me so much. How can you stop this?
Oh my gosh. I feel like this was written just for me. I’ve been going through a serious case of self doubt, and found my self saying horrible things to someone i should love: ME. I’ve been doubting my creativity, my art, my progress…pretty much anything that I could attack myself about, I’ve covered. 🙁
Well, that has to stop. Enough is enough. Thank you so much for posting this!
Self-comparison is like poking your nose over the neighbours fence and forgetting about your own garden. Nothing’s going to grow in your own if you’re too busy watching someone elses garden grown! Loved your post – I’d love to get a stage where I am completely, and as you said, ‘happy with who you are, what you love to do, and the way you’re accepted by the people you love.’.
Thank you so much for a great post. I love your blog x