If You Could Do Your Wedding Over Again…

June 25, 2013 separator wedding

…what would you change?

As you guys are probably overly-aware (sorry!), I’m getting married in less than two months. Eek! If you follow me on Instagam, you’ve seen a few little sneak peeks at some of projects, mostly invitations so far. I love having a handmade touch woven throughout all the different aspects of our big day, but I will say I’m getting a little burned out, too! 

Awhile back I popped this question on Twitter. Somebody told me to elope, and Lexi said she’d DIY less. She said to decide what’s most important and focus on that. 
I figure I can learn from everybody else’s trial and error, so, while my sanity is still salvageable, I want to pose the same question to all of you:

If you could do your wedding all over again, what would you do differently? 

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18 comments

  1. I loved my affordable, half-DIY wedding. The only regret I have is that we “saved” money with a less experienced photographer. PAY A FANTASTIC PHOTOGRAPHER!

  2. I’ve been married for 6 years now. We got married in a local park and had our reception in the pavilions. We did BBQ and had a DJ all very simple and really just us. The only thing I would change is I would not have had a wedding party, I’m not friends with my girls anymore, and my husband isn’t friends with his groomsmen (except his brother, I’m an only child). Looking back, it would have been better to just be us up there. No hassle, no extra input, no added expenses, just us, our family and getting married :-)

  3. Great question. Now that I’ve been married for 5 years I think about how instead of the traditional wedding in a church and reception hall that society has pushed that maybe we would have done a destination tropical wedding… We are already talking about for our 10 or 20 year anniversary maybe renewing our vows like that…

  4. We (both in our early 40s) took 3 months from proposal to wedding. Saved like mad, and I think it cost about $5000 including our honeymoon. Bought the wine in stages each pay, had it in a local hall, made my own dress (blue jersey, so nowhere near as intimidating as it sounds). A very good friend took the official photos, flowers for the tables we’re picked from the garden that morning and stuck in whatever glass jars we had. Great caterer that our car club had used for a fancy dress party. Plain wrapping paper covered the tables. I think the ceremony took 5 minutes. Dress was “whatever you want” and we only invited friends and family we wanted. Basically, it was a great party! What our guests remember is that they enjoyed themselves and it was just so happy.

    So it was informal, fun and not too expensive. The only thing I’d change is the footwear. Couldn’t find flat sandals I liked (grass surface) so it was a good-enough pair. Should have stuck with my flat brown boots as I danced my feet off 😊

    Decide what matters to you both (not your parents, friends, society, etc). Best Beloved wanted the bigger event, I was happy to give him that although I would have preferred just us and witnesses. Which is another way of saying compromise on the stuff that doesn’t matter to you, but does to him. Be comfortable, focus on the intent, eat, enjoy yourself and don’t worry on the day. Get your to do list done, have it eyeballed by a good friend who understands what YOU want for your wedding and stick to the low stress options.

    And feed the dogs before you get changed!

  5. I would have eaten. Make sure to eat. I would have made sure I got to at least have a mini convo with each of the guests, I felt so guilty afterwards, that I felt like I was just having a blast and I didn’t recognize all those amazing folks that had come from far away… I would have gotten two flavors of cake. We got a cake I didn’t like, because I gave up to easily when we were deciding flavors, we should have split, one layer his choice and one layer mine- oh well. It was a fab day anyway, and yours will be too! Just enjoy.

    http://thisfineday.com

  6. At the time I got married, I was only 22; I had only ever been IN one other wedding and none of my wedding party (except my parents who seemed ancient) was married. My parents did most of the planning as I was living in Oxford, Ohio and working in Cincinnati, and the wedding was in my hometown, Dayton. It was lovely and fun, and people talked about it for years afterward; but, there are actually three things I would have done differently: 1) HIRED a string quartet. My dad got some teacher friends to play, and they were NOT great. 2) Hire a WEDDING photographer. There are lot of great wedding photographers now with the advent of digital photography but back then (26 years TOMORROW, June 27), not many people were brave enough to try to memorialize your special day. . . and there’s a good reason. My mom hired a news photographer who “did weddings on the side” . . . battery died on his camera (he only had one) and I didn’t meet him until the day of so there was no planning session where he asked me about who and what groups to photograph. Pictures with our grandparents had to wait until we got to my parents’ house for the reception and they are VERY dark. 3) HIRE a videographer. We had a German foreign exchange student the year I got married (it was my brother’s Senior year of high school and Norbert’s too) and, while we love him like a brother, the video is not great because, again, state of the art back then was VHS tape and he was not an expert.

    Don’t have friends do these things. Friends are for partying with. Hire professionals and skimp on something else . . .even the cake, because, after all, it will just be eaten.

    That all being said and you being you, it will be beautiful and totally Lindsay and Andrei and that’s what matters!

    <3 K

  7. I’d definitely have it filmed, because we didn’t. But the main thing I’d do is have a longer reception. Ours was 4 hours and we had about 120 guests. By the time I got around to greeting each one, the wedding was over. Not a lot of dancing and drinking time. Still, lots of fun!

  8. Oh, and I second what everyone else said about the photographer. That was the most expensive thing we chose and it was totally worth it. Our photos were beautiful. I had so many friends who went the cheap route and regretted it.

  9. I would have gotten someone to video tape it. I didn’t think it would matter at the time, but now I wish I had the video. I also would have listened to other people, less. We caved a lot on what we wanted to make family members happy. Don’t get me wrong, I had a wedding I loved, but it ended up much more complicated and different than we wanted. I wish we would have (nicely) told them all to back off and had the simple wedding we originally planned. Oh, and I probably would have considered more that, though I was dress shopping in January, I was getting married in August and it was hot!

  10. If I could go back I would have our ceremony recorded. Before the wedding I didn’t think it was something I wanted to spend money on, but immediatly after I wish we had captured the ceremony. Also, it was very, very hot when we got married and all of our centerpiece flowers wilted well before the reception ended. I think I would save money and time but using succulents.
    Good luck!

  11. If i had to go back, I would really really try to not have a wedding and save all that money for my future, home, children , vacation. It was over so quickly and I could have just as easily had a small party to celebrate for much much much much less.

    That being said I spent 13 months DIYing everything. So if I HAD to have a wedding, I don’t regret anything besides that my dress was uncomfortable! Our wedding was actually featured on Ruffled for being so awesomely DIY. Here is the link http://ruffledblog.com/whimsical-lobo-castle-wedding/

  12. I would spend SO MUCH MORE money on a good photographer. We got the cheapest one we could find and – duh – she was awful. We barely got any good pictures – and she didn’t do any bridals of just me! GAH! I also would hire a videographer, and get a better DJ for more dancing.

  13. I’d start saving earlier! We’re having a very low-key wedding/honeymoon hybrid but we failed so miserably at saving that we’ve had to put it back a year!

    Becky
    xx

  14. I DIY’d most of my wedding and I wouldn’t take back a thing! Something you can definitely focus on still since it hasn’t happened yet is making a list of the photos you want taken. Even if you have to tuck that list in your cleavage – LOL but seriously! There are a couple of pictures that I wish I would have remembered to get and didn’t. I’m not dying about it but every time I look through my album I say a silent, “shoot… should have wrote it down.” Congratulations and I wish you the best!!

  15. I would get a videographer and pay the photographer to stay to the very end of the reception. I also would’ve picked a different dress…mine was soooo heavy! And I would DIY more because our reception hall was kind of bare. Looking back, if I had taken the time to do some DIY projects, we really could have dressed it up and made it look a lot nicer. I only DIY-ed one thing, so I probably could’ve done a few more without going crazy!

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